Helping the Children Get Along

After teaching a group of executives and scientists at a large pharmaceutical company one of them approached Kim Cameron with the following story. He told Kim that a few months back he had heard Kim teach the basics of Positive Organizational Scholarship and decided to test one of the concepts out with his children. This executive had two boys who were 11 and 13 years old. They would bicker and argue to the point that he and his wife couldn't take it any longer. After hearing Kim speak the executive told his boys that they needed to look for what the other was doing right during the week and every Sunday he would have them share with each other what they wrote down. For each positive thing that one brother wrote about the other he would receive 50 cents. At the end of the first week the boys didn't take the exercise very seriously and quickly wrote some things down right before sitting down together. The executive looked at each son's list and said that most were not serious but found one good one on each sheet and gave them 50 cents each. The boys realized if they took the exercise seriously they could make some decent money each Sunday. They started really watching for what the other was doing right and sharing their list with one another each Sunday and by the end of the fourth week there was almost no fighting, arguing or bickering occurring anymore. Being a true scientist the executive decided to stop the exercises to make sure it was truly the variable that was leading to less arguing. Over the next two weeks the arguing went back to normal. The exercise was implemented again and within two weeks the boys were back to getting along very well.

By changing people's psychological state to get them to focus on what is right about others they began to see others around them differently and treat them in a more positive way. This increases the likelihood that others will respond to that person in a more positive way and creates far more effective interactions.

Question to Consider:

What can you do to begin to see what is right about other people on a consistent basis until it becomes a habit? This doesn't mean you can't correct others, but if you focus on what is right the majority of the time the person is more likely to hear critical feedback and do something about it.