Not Feeling Engaged in My Job

I have had a very successful career as I worked my way up the different departments in our organization.  I had fully committed myself to the organization and was seen as someone who delivered very good results, but I didn’t always get looked at when it came to some of the key positions I ultimately wanted to be in.  While attending Leading for Total Engagement I realized I was in slow death.  Sometime during the last fifteen years I started to lose energy and was working hard but not feeling passion for what I do.  I felt that there had been some positive things to look to at home and at work but there was something that was not right.  The different experiences I had in the course gave me the courage to take action in my life.  Against the will of family members I went and visited my father who left us when I was younger.  I discovered he only wanted to seek forgiveness and I decided I wanted to forgive him.  This led to a number of things happening in my personal life, some of which make me very sad but ultimately I took control of my own life.

 

I also had made a decision to go to my boss and discuss my future with the company.  I explained what my strengths were and what aspects of the business  give me energy.  I listed different aspects of the work occurring in the company  and explained what kind of job I would need if I were to stay with the company.  I had new opportunities elsewhere and considered taking them because it was not fair for the company or for me to not love what I was doing for them.  I was still delivering good results but not my best for the company and delivering at the level I’m capable of.  The boss said she would see what she could do but I didn’t have high expectations.  A few weeks later the business came back with an offer to head up a major change project in the marketing department that entailed all of the pieces I asked for plus many others that seemed overwhelming to me.  I went to work and started to learn in real time again as I worked with people across the organization to create the desired outcome.  I enjoyed the work and started becoming more visible in the business.  The results of the project have been very positive.  As the project comes to an end I’ve started receiving offers all over the business for new job opportunities.  Many of these are opportunities I have always wanted thus giving me choices and enabling me to take the next step forward from a position of  strength  as opposed to fear.

 

When I went to start the project I asked two members of my team to step up and help run the team while I was away.  One of the team members had a very similar style and way of thinking to me.  The other was a very creative individual but quiet and I was less sure about him.  As the two started running the team I would often check in and tell them to do things exactly how I would have done them.  I realized that I was shutting down many of this creative individual’s ideas because they were different to how I would have approached the job.  I was not allowing this person to flourish and was being hypocritical.  I had just gone to my boss to ask for new opportunities, freedom and for growth and here I was unwilling to do the same for my people.  I decided to back away and allow the two team members to run the team.  They have had even more success as a team and the quiet, creative leader on the team has excelled and been offered a promotion within the business.  Overall the risks I’ve taken both professionally and personally have caused many positives for all who are connected.  Even the experiences that were not completely pleasant have been positive when looked at from a bigger picture because they set up an opportunity for a better future and gave me the  courage to step up and take charge of my own destiny.