By Robert E. Quinn
I finished reading a book called Virus of the Mind: The New Science of the Meme (http://www.amazon.com/Virus-Mind-New-Science-Meme/dp/0963600117). It is a very well written book that articulates how fully we are programmed by genetics and by our culture. In the final chapter the author derives a bottom line lesson. He indicates that people are so full of externally acquired programming that “they do not spend much time and energy pursuing what they want in life.” They are simply “mind slaves.” He suggests that that the most important thing we can do is “select a higher purpose” that maximizes “fulfillment and enjoyment in life.” We need to “look at life as something to be created.” We can do this by interfacing how we have been programed with a purpose that really matters.
In pondering the need for a purpose that matters, I thought of a talk sent to me by my friend, Larry Dewey. Larry is a psychiatrist. In his talk he shared the story of a man who changed:
He has HIV or AIDS. He had been physically and sexually abused all through his childhood and as an adult suffered from bipolar I disorder (manic-depressive illness). Many years of alcoholism and IV drug addiction and abuse scarred his adult life. No one in his family had ever lived beyond age 52. In 1996 he entered a long term, faith-based treatment program. He got clean and sober and eventually even stopped smoking. He sought treatment for his bipolar disorder and for AIDS. He connected personally with God and with help from many others was able to stabilize his life and start on a healing, growing path. He now reaches out to other “lost souls” just like he was as best he can. He is now 53—a man with AIDS living longer than anyone else in his family.
Larry points out; “In my 30 years of work as a VA psychiatrist, I have seen all types of people with severe problems make tremendous changes for good in their lives. How did they do it?”
Larry has noticed the following pattern:
1) They develop a powerful desire to change—often they see that the way they are currently living is destroying them or harming those around them they care about most.
2) They are humbled enough that they look at their faults and failings directly in the eye. They stop trying to justify themselves and acknowledge these faults and weaknesses openly.
3) They are willing to humble themselves and confront their weaknesses because someone they love needs them to do it—often one of their children or their spouse. Love of someone else overcomes their shame about their weakness or fault enough that they are willing to seek help to change rather than try to continue hiding their weakness.
4) They recognize they can’t change on their own. They are just not strong enough and they enlist the help of family, friends, and even professionals like me.
5) They seek some type of divine help to change and usually experience godly love in some way—through prayer or other spiritual manifestations.
6) They start serving others and helping those they care about.
According to Larry, people often develop the desire to change themselves because of love for others. This same love allows them to overcome shame and pride (ego) and to choose reality over self-deception. It enables them to humble themselves and seek for help. It enables them to find new resources. It enables to see life as “something to be created,” and allows them to actually create it. When we find the strength to change ourselves we create life.
Perhaps I could better overcome my programming and find more “fulfillment and enjoyment in life” if my “higher purpose” was love. Perhaps I could then better “look at life as something to be created,” and I would be more likely to make the changes necessary to change me and to create life.